The Cedars of Lebanon
Welcome to my blog, "Whispering in God's Ear." I have much to say about why I began this blog, but where to start is always a challenge.
Do I start by telling you about a little girl who was not allowed to go to church? Whose father was an agnostic and whose mother was a Catholic who taught at a Catholic school? Do I tell you about hiding under the bed and reading the books she brought home from school that her students were forced to read as part of their religious study?
I'll never forget when my husband-to-be, who was forced to attend church and Bible study most of his childhood years and into his teens, looked at me in amazement when I would quote a particular Bible story or mention some Bible verse. "But you never went to church," he'd say. "How do you know this stuff?" It was then that I told him of my little cathedral under my bed where I devoured all the Bible stories I was forbidden to read.
The only problem with my solitary chapel is that it was a child's interpretation without instruction. I'm certainly happy that I was curious about God and Christ and the stories of the Old and the New Testament. But the learning was lonely, and left me feeling like an outcast without a sense of community. It is this strong sense of wanting to belong that led me on a rather circuitous path to get to where I am today.
It's no wonder that my search for God and particularly for a relationship with Jesus has been fraught with confusion, doubt, and a fair amount of anger. But these are topics for another day. My intention is to use this blog to journey towards some understanding of my relationship with God and how to connect with Him and I hope, with Christ, on an authentic, truly open level. My hope is that I will meet like-minded travelers along the way who want to search together.
For today, let me say that I love the photo I've chosen to represent this site. It is a beautiful wall in Lebanon, looking out at the majestic Cedars. I find it interesting that the Cedars have made an appearance in my psyche at a time that I am recovering from surgery.
At one point in my recovery I found myself in a great deal of pain. I mentioned this to a young Episcopalian priest who has been most helpful in guiding my spiritual growth of late. He suggested the Psalms and said that I should cry out to God authentically, that I should tell God exactly what I was feeling and let Him know I was in pain. The fact that I am half Spaniard, and suffer from an over-abundance of Iberian pride, did not make my efforts easy, but I've been following the priest's guidance. The pain is there, but it has lessened because the Psalms have reminded me that whether I whisper or yell in God's ear, He is there constantly, and I am beginning to understand that His Son is there with me and with anyone who is suffering....not in the past, but in the present, in the very "now" of the suffering.
So, I leave you with Psalm 92:12-15, about the Cedars. It is quite lovely, and strengthening for me in my recovery:
12 The righteous flourish like the palm
tree,
and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13 They are planted in the house of
the Lord,
they flourish in the courts of our
God.
14 They still bring forth fruit in old
age,
they are ever full of sap and green,
15 to show that the Lord is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no
unrighteousness in him.
Peace and all good things...Cristina
Do I start by telling you about a little girl who was not allowed to go to church? Whose father was an agnostic and whose mother was a Catholic who taught at a Catholic school? Do I tell you about hiding under the bed and reading the books she brought home from school that her students were forced to read as part of their religious study?
I'll never forget when my husband-to-be, who was forced to attend church and Bible study most of his childhood years and into his teens, looked at me in amazement when I would quote a particular Bible story or mention some Bible verse. "But you never went to church," he'd say. "How do you know this stuff?" It was then that I told him of my little cathedral under my bed where I devoured all the Bible stories I was forbidden to read.
The only problem with my solitary chapel is that it was a child's interpretation without instruction. I'm certainly happy that I was curious about God and Christ and the stories of the Old and the New Testament. But the learning was lonely, and left me feeling like an outcast without a sense of community. It is this strong sense of wanting to belong that led me on a rather circuitous path to get to where I am today.
It's no wonder that my search for God and particularly for a relationship with Jesus has been fraught with confusion, doubt, and a fair amount of anger. But these are topics for another day. My intention is to use this blog to journey towards some understanding of my relationship with God and how to connect with Him and I hope, with Christ, on an authentic, truly open level. My hope is that I will meet like-minded travelers along the way who want to search together.
For today, let me say that I love the photo I've chosen to represent this site. It is a beautiful wall in Lebanon, looking out at the majestic Cedars. I find it interesting that the Cedars have made an appearance in my psyche at a time that I am recovering from surgery.
At one point in my recovery I found myself in a great deal of pain. I mentioned this to a young Episcopalian priest who has been most helpful in guiding my spiritual growth of late. He suggested the Psalms and said that I should cry out to God authentically, that I should tell God exactly what I was feeling and let Him know I was in pain. The fact that I am half Spaniard, and suffer from an over-abundance of Iberian pride, did not make my efforts easy, but I've been following the priest's guidance. The pain is there, but it has lessened because the Psalms have reminded me that whether I whisper or yell in God's ear, He is there constantly, and I am beginning to understand that His Son is there with me and with anyone who is suffering....not in the past, but in the present, in the very "now" of the suffering.
So, I leave you with Psalm 92:12-15, about the Cedars. It is quite lovely, and strengthening for me in my recovery:
12 The righteous flourish like the palm
tree,
and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13 They are planted in the house of
the Lord,
they flourish in the courts of our
God.
14 They still bring forth fruit in old
age,
they are ever full of sap and green,
15 to show that the Lord is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no
unrighteousness in him.
Peace and all good things...Cristina
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